We interrupt this programme to bring you news of a terrible storm that has wreaked havoc on the country this week. It all started so innocently, when Paul instinctively popped the exemplary Jaffa Cake of last week’s technical challenge into his cuppa. Though it drew the immediate Berry scorn with a look that could freeze your Darjeeling and the chilling comment ‘we don’t do that in the South’, that’s nothing compared to the tragedy of a nation wrenched apart. Not since the EU referendum have we witnessed something so divisive as Dunxit. Now personally speaking, I’m a tolerant man – Mr Hollywood is free to dip his cookie in my cocoa any night of the week – but let’s hope for an uncontroversial episode. Yes, this time it’s… oh crumbs… it’s biscuit week. Now that’s just asking for trouble.
In Sue’s temporary absence, Mel must crack on alone to announce the signature bake of twenty-four identical and elaborately decorated biscuits. Paul taunts the NDBPS (National Dry Biscuit Preservation Society) by saying he wants a mug of tea big enough to dunk the lot.
Drinks are definitely on the menu as Michael serves up malted beer-glass-shaped biscuits flavoured with chocolate and orange. Louise innocently admits that her charming tea-infused Bara Brith-flavoured sheep biscuits will have a softer texture. Mary looks witheringly unimpressed.
Supercool Selasi is turning up the heat with his chilli-packed racing cars. Powering ahead to the finish line, we see him taking the scenic route around the tent, well before the challenge deadline. He passes the time by providing roadside assistance to other bakers.
As the tension mounts, common sense makes its customary exit from the tent – Jane is stretching over her freshly iced almond biscuits to pipe another batch. Louise drops her tray and has to start again. It’s what sheep-shaped biscuit bakers refer to as a flocking nightmare.